Word on the street is Ussy Sulistiawati is starting a new career as a singer and currently in the studio cutting her debut album. Okay, no surprise there. Not ever since the likes of Peggy Melati Sukma and Diana Pungky had the audacity to record their squawking and circulate it to the mass.

But I'm not here to talk about her newfound singing career. Who knows, she could be the next Whitney (Good luck, girlfriend! *snicker*). I'm here to bash the dress that she wore for her solo performance at a charity event in Jakarta.





Everything is wrong with this dress! From the shiny-but-stiff 100% synthetic polymer duchesse-satin fabric that could induce uncontrollable sweating and body odor, to the giant-shiitake farm on the shoulders, to the Chris John's WBA Bantam Weight Champion Belt cummerbund, down to the billowy "put a hot-air engine on her legs and she's set to travel around the world in 80 days" bottom part.

Everything...

Is...

WRONG!!!

Oh, and add a matching pink kitten-heel pumps to the equation...
Voila! Instant stumpy legs!



Obviously the designer has only one objective in mind: to publicly humilate the wearer. So it's either Ussy's high on pil koplo or somebody's put a gun to her head before she puts on this dress, because nobody in their right mind would ever wear this ridiculous pink disaster.
Well, except maybe Dea Imut on her 12th birthday party...
Or Titi on her Gebyar BCA performance...
Or Agnes on her "Whaddup A?" concert in Brunei...
Or maybe Nafa...
Or KD on her next album cover...
Or Memes at her son's piano recital...
Or Venna Melinda on a Dance Dance Revolution! machine at Senayan City's arcade...

Oh, well...