How do you resuscitate the career of a group from a state of coma? Recruiting new members and revamping its image sounds good on paper. But when pop-group Warna tried this maneuver, it doesn't seem to be working well.

After the departure of Dea Mirella and Nina Tamam, the remaining survivors of Warna attempted to revive their group by injecting 2 new female members, Ira and Ari, and reinventing their image (according to their press release) to a "fresh, friendly, and hip" direction with "new choreography and wardrobe".

Okay, let me be the first to point out that "hip" and a bunch of over-30s don't mix. And after looking at their group photo below, clearly they've mistakenly translated "fresh, friendly, and hip" as "Venna Melinda's Fashion Cronies".



Unknown Warna member #1 (Ira or Ari, whichever you are) with patterned leggings and oversized black belt is a toss up between female weightlifter from Macau and Vicky Burki's arch-rival at "3rd Annual Bumi Serpong Damai Aerobics Championship". Ria's white cowboy hat and gold lurex pants bring "Brokeback Mountain's Pointer Sisters" to mind. And unknown Warna member #2's combination of striped puffy shorts, multilayered tank tops, and hideous trinkets is clearly a rendition of child singer/obnoxious monster/future slut Maissy on "Ciluuk Ba".

The male members of the group aren't doing any better either. Try as they may to defend their sexuality, but it appears to me they have left metrosexual-ville and entered gay-town. While Stephen's ensemble may only whisper "gay", Sarwana's outfit on the other hand screams "I'M QUEER, I'M HERE, GET USED TO IT!". It makes wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm not gay, but my 60 year-old sugar daddy is" tame by comparison. You know what guys? Why don't you just leave the girls and form your own duo named M2M or The Bendovers or some other name with a gay innuendo, and sing classic hits like, "Ladies Night", "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", or (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman".