Kiki Fatmala, whenever I see your picture or on TV, I'm suddenly filled with sadness. Do you know why? Because you haven't changed one bit since the last time I saw you in a Warkop DKI movie 16 years ago. The yellow spandex miniskirt might be replaced with a turquoise gypsy-themed skirt, but the tube top is still there. And the keriting papan might be replaced with a bigger wave, but it's still a bad perm job. Why Kiki? Why are you still stuck in the same old rut? Is this one of your ploys to nab another Bule Jalan Jaksa to be your husband #2?

Listen baby, how many times do I have to tell you to stop reading "How To Marry A Bule And Live Happily Ever After (Or At Least For 2 Years)" By Prapti Stewart Goldenblatt Rodriguez? Kiki, the old rules are not applicable anymore. Nowadays, in order to get a bule husband/boyfriend, you don't have to dress like a Pemandu Lagu di Disko & Karaoke "Monggo Mas" Puncak Pass anymore. Instead, you need to dress like a high-class call-girl. Am I right, Sophia Latjuba?

Neng Sarah.

PS. Don't ask me how I got to "Monggo Mas". It's a long story.